He took me by my hand and led me barefooted, the both of us, to the lush greenery fields that bestowed upon us.
The enchanting sunset was our audience. We danced in circles as I spun and spun gracefully within his embrace as he held my fingertips beneath our heads.
Our eyes locked. Desire. Was it love? or lust?
It felt like love. At least, in this very moment. I believed it. I believed us.
The prickling sensation and dampness underneath our feet didn’t bother us one bit when all we could focus on was each other.
After the dancing, he chased me around the vast fields. We giggled and laughter spread like wildfire. It was as if time had stopped for the both of us. Nothing could replace this absolute moment. I found comfort and relief in his presence whenever I turned back to see if he caught up to me and we locked eyes there and then.
There seemed like no end to the fields and the sun, which was out of reach, yet right before our very eyes. Before I could reach out my hand to “fit” it inside the palm of my left hand, he got a hold of me from behind.
“Gotcha!” he said, hugging me tightly around my waist.
I felt the warmth of his hands beneath the sheer material of my white lace dress and I didn’t want him to let go, not until the end of time. But who was I kidding? She was waiting for him back home with three kids of their own. They’ve been married for nine years. And today is their wedding anniversary.
Tonight he’s going to make love to her, much differently than how we did it earlier. My heart reeked of jealousy and sin. An unforgivable sin with no turning back, no turning back to the days without him, to the days where I was not “the third party”.
“Ca… can you stay with me today?” I asked, placing my hands above his.
He sighed subtly but he didn’t let go. And that’s what I loved about him. It was the little things like this that made me attracted to him. I was drawn to how gentle he can be, that even with such a question – he never raised his voice at him.
“You know the answer.”
“Can’t I be of an exception?” I pushed my luck further.
He turned me around swiftly and shut me up by locking lips with mine. I couldn’t help but break into a half-smile, and so did he. We kissed for a long, long time. It was so romantic, something as simplistic as this. The scenery was stunning. The air smelled of lavender. And our hearts were beating at the same time, coordinating in rhythm. We were in bliss.
After chasing each other around endlessly, we felt the exhaustion in our bones and caught ourselves catching our breath. We laid back down on the grass and intertwined our hands, now staring at the purple blue skies and listened to the wind howled.
His phone rang. He ignored it and silent the ringtone. Out of respect for me, he never answers his phone calls, even if it was his wife who was calling him on their wedding anniversary. I loved this man tremendously, I thought to myself as I stared at his gorgeous face from the side. He smirked and turned to my direction as well, not wanting to miss a second of locking eyes with me. We acted like children and we both found it silly, but that was what brought us closer.
He bought me white and pink flowers in a bouquet. I felt like the prettiest and luckiest woman receiving them from him for the first time.
“Why did you get me flowers?”
“I don’t need a reason to buy you flowers. I wanted you to have them.”
“Do you like it?”
I nodded, slightly embarrassed.
He shone a captivating smile, proud of his gesture.
“Perfect,” he said and he pulled me in closer so that I could lay my head on his broad chest while he played with my hair.
I fell asleep and when I woke up, he wasn’t there anymore. He helped me wore back my shoes and placed the bouquet near my face. He wanted it to be the first thing I saw when I opened my eyes. There was a note inside the bouquet that wasn’t there earlier.
The note read, “It’s over between us, Julie. I’m sorry. I loved you. But I have to go. Don’t go looking for me. I’m not breathing the same air as you anymore when you read this. Forget me. Marry someone better than me. Goodbye, my forbidden love.”
I crumpled the note in my hand and held it close to my heart, bursting into tears, wailing at the top of my lungs underneath the translucent moonlight.
Once again, I was alone. Only this time, I was swallowed by the loneliness and darkness within my surroundings and in the depth of my heart, unable to break free from this “betrayal” that I brought upon myself.